Changing times

[elaby]

I know it's normal for peoples likes and dislikes to change over time. For example, I used to hate mushrooms. Now, I rather like 'em! I can't say I'd eat a whole plateful no matter how they were cooked, but I'd even purposefully put them into recipes now. I never really liked tea either, and now I'm absolutely bonkers for it. Along the same lines, I used to be really (really really) into anime, and now I'm only passingly into anime. I'll look at pictures if they come across my Tumblr dash, and I'll watch shows if they're recommended to me or if I know I'll like them, but it's not an all-consuming passion by any stretch of the imagination.

In spite of the fact that I know changes in interests are normal, I'm used to there being things that I've always liked and always will like - things like french fries and Tolkien. But I'm starting to realize, over the last couple of years and especially lately, that there's one thing that I used to adore and now not only am I not really into it, it even sometimes depresses me. And I liked this thing so much that the great majority of my media consumption (and therefore my entertainment, relaxation, and creative pursuits) revolved around it.

This thing is slash.

You understand, if you've been reading my journal for any length of time - particularly during the Holmes Era - that this was a fairly devastating thing to realize. How can I dislike slash? As I so often point out (when people would tell me that they "usually hate slash" but love my fanart), as a lesbian, my life essentially is slash - meaning a same-gender love relationship features heavily into it. But lately, the more potentially slashy pairings I come across in modern media, the more it depresses me.

I ran across the term "queerbaiting" recently. It's used in reference to those shows, movies, books, etc. that tease audiences with the potential of a romantic same-gender relationship but never actualize that relationship. Anime and manga are, and have always been, terribly notorious for this, but it's becoming more prominent in Western media as it becomes more acceptable to acknowledge the existence of same-gender relationships.

This concept pretty well encompasses my current feelings toward slash (when the term refers to potential relationships in fiction, not anybody else's fannish tendencies, which of course I heartily support one's freedom to have). It doesn't bother me so much in fiction that's historical, fantasy, or sci-fi, but I'm finding any contemporary media with slash potential to be more and more depressing. I think this is because in a contemporary story, there's every possibility (from a social and personal-identity-development standpoint) that the characters could be in a romantic relationship but the creators refuse to commit, out of fear of audience rejection or just plain manipulation. And I find that watching such things and picking up on the clues that used to delight me now only makes me sad and frustrated.

This comes with all sorts of complications. For example, I very much believe that two fictional people of the same gender should be able to have a close relationship without it being romantic. It's important to show that that kind of relationship exists in reality too. And I'm sure I could find exceptions to this where the slashiness doesn't give me feelings of despair. But the fact remains that lately, watching shows with extremely high slash potential and no real hope of actualization upsets me. And the fact that it upsets me... upsets me >_< I never used to care whether my favorite OTP had a chance in hell of ever happening in canon. I mean, it was always kind of a given that they didn't. I guess what's changed is that in our world now, the complete absence of established same-gender relationships in media is not a given. And I don't want it to ever be a given again.

I'm sorry to let go of this piece of my fannish history. It's not like I think I'll never get starry-eyed over two same-gender characters in a TV show or movie again, but things have shifted, and while I accept that this is how I feel now, I miss the time when it didn't bother me.

Comments

[raechel]

Did you watch X-Men First Class? The relationship between young Professor X and young Magneto was riddled with hints and innuendos to the point that I believe it was a running joke on set that the characters had unrequited affections. Sure, it could easily be twisted as a very close and endearing friendship, but by the end of the movie I wanted to hurl things at the tv. I think we are coming closer and closer to actual relationships but even still I think they will be minor side-story. I doubt we will see a main character, of a major Hollywood film, in a same-sex relationship for a very long time and that makes me sad. I can understand why you've found yourself no longer wanting to invest time and emotion into them anymore (or at this time.)

[elaby.livejournal.com]

I haven't watched that, but I'm not surprised - I think that's one of the biggest parings in the fandom. I'm sure I would have felt the same way by the end :\ We've made such huge steps in the past several years when it comes to gender and sexual minorities in movies and on TV, but I've come to a point where the teasing just really bothers me more than it used to.

[raechel]

Well, I can imagine it's like someone saying "here, have some of my scraps. No, you can't sit at the table or have a full plate, but while you are watching me eat I'll give you my leftovers." That, to me, is how it seems like sexual minorities are treated (though not just on TV, but that is the most visible offender outside of our laws.) It might seem generous at first, especially when you are starving and would give anything for even the scraps, but over time you come to the conclusion that you deserve to be at the table just as much as everyone else and having people act as if you should be happy with the scraps is a slap in the face. Anyway, sorry for the food analogy, metaphor, simile... (I'm sadly so far removed from the technicalities of the English language that without decent googling I couldn't tell you what that just was :( urgh.) We're sitting here at the table and Mr. Xander is wearing half of what he eats so food is pretty much the only thing on my brain, lol.

*hugs* Sorry for the rant, as if you don't live and breathe it every day and I'm telling you things you don't know, right?

[elaby.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* Yeah, but you are TOTALLY RIGHT, and I wouldn't have thought of that analogy - and it's PERFECT. So thank you :) When I read what you wrote, I was like "Yes. YES. OMG YES." <3 It DOES seem generous at first to see characters like me, but I've gotten beyond the "so grateful for scraps" time into the "we deserve equal representation" part. You're spot-on.

Say hi to Mr. Xander for me! :)