Changing times

[elaby]

I know it's normal for peoples likes and dislikes to change over time. For example, I used to hate mushrooms. Now, I rather like 'em! I can't say I'd eat a whole plateful no matter how they were cooked, but I'd even purposefully put them into recipes now. I never really liked tea either, and now I'm absolutely bonkers for it. Along the same lines, I used to be really (really really) into anime, and now I'm only passingly into anime. I'll look at pictures if they come across my Tumblr dash, and I'll watch shows if they're recommended to me or if I know I'll like them, but it's not an all-consuming passion by any stretch of the imagination.

In spite of the fact that I know changes in interests are normal, I'm used to there being things that I've always liked and always will like - things like french fries and Tolkien. But I'm starting to realize, over the last couple of years and especially lately, that there's one thing that I used to adore and now not only am I not really into it, it even sometimes depresses me. And I liked this thing so much that the great majority of my media consumption (and therefore my entertainment, relaxation, and creative pursuits) revolved around it.

This thing is slash.

You understand, if you've been reading my journal for any length of time - particularly during the Holmes Era - that this was a fairly devastating thing to realize. How can I dislike slash? As I so often point out (when people would tell me that they "usually hate slash" but love my fanart), as a lesbian, my life essentially is slash - meaning a same-gender love relationship features heavily into it. But lately, the more potentially slashy pairings I come across in modern media, the more it depresses me.

I ran across the term "queerbaiting" recently. It's used in reference to those shows, movies, books, etc. that tease audiences with the potential of a romantic same-gender relationship but never actualize that relationship. Anime and manga are, and have always been, terribly notorious for this, but it's becoming more prominent in Western media as it becomes more acceptable to acknowledge the existence of same-gender relationships.

This concept pretty well encompasses my current feelings toward slash (when the term refers to potential relationships in fiction, not anybody else's fannish tendencies, which of course I heartily support one's freedom to have). It doesn't bother me so much in fiction that's historical, fantasy, or sci-fi, but I'm finding any contemporary media with slash potential to be more and more depressing. I think this is because in a contemporary story, there's every possibility (from a social and personal-identity-development standpoint) that the characters could be in a romantic relationship but the creators refuse to commit, out of fear of audience rejection or just plain manipulation. And I find that watching such things and picking up on the clues that used to delight me now only makes me sad and frustrated.

This comes with all sorts of complications. For example, I very much believe that two fictional people of the same gender should be able to have a close relationship without it being romantic. It's important to show that that kind of relationship exists in reality too. And I'm sure I could find exceptions to this where the slashiness doesn't give me feelings of despair. But the fact remains that lately, watching shows with extremely high slash potential and no real hope of actualization upsets me. And the fact that it upsets me... upsets me >_< I never used to care whether my favorite OTP had a chance in hell of ever happening in canon. I mean, it was always kind of a given that they didn't. I guess what's changed is that in our world now, the complete absence of established same-gender relationships in media is not a given. And I don't want it to ever be a given again.

I'm sorry to let go of this piece of my fannish history. It's not like I think I'll never get starry-eyed over two same-gender characters in a TV show or movie again, but things have shifted, and while I accept that this is how I feel now, I miss the time when it didn't bother me.

Comments

[caitirin.livejournal.com]

*SNUGGLES YOU*

[elaby.livejournal.com]

*SQUISHLUV*

[skittish-derby.livejournal.com]

I was never really into slash or fan-fiction in general, but I can definitely relate to the distaste. Recently, while watching How I met Your Mother, I noticed how *into* Robin, Lily is, and it is always played out as comedy affect... but geez! it is more frustrating than funny, at least for me. I don't want lesbians/bisexuals to be the butt of the joke, especially if they are in any way attractive and *obviously* straight-- cause you can't really tell what someone's sexuality is just by looking at them. I thought we were past that as a society or maybe just my small social bubble. This isn't the mid-ninties anymore, we have meth manufacturers and a heck of a lot of violence on regular cable channels, but as soon as two women kiss its *forbidden* or... comedy. course, I probably just watch the wrong shows. :/


and now I've delved into ranting territory. And not even sure if it is your compaint per say.

ah well! I hope you have a happy birthday tomorrow!! :D

[elaby.livejournal.com]

Yes, EXACTLY. The comedy thing. I absolutely agree. I wonder the same thing about my social bubble - and I really do think that we just hang out with liberal people (and live in a relatively liberal area) and so we don't come up against the more pervasive ignorance and bigotry as often.

Thank you for the birthday wishes! :D

[raechel]

Did you watch X-Men First Class? The relationship between young Professor X and young Magneto was riddled with hints and innuendos to the point that I believe it was a running joke on set that the characters had unrequited affections. Sure, it could easily be twisted as a very close and endearing friendship, but by the end of the movie I wanted to hurl things at the tv. I think we are coming closer and closer to actual relationships but even still I think they will be minor side-story. I doubt we will see a main character, of a major Hollywood film, in a same-sex relationship for a very long time and that makes me sad. I can understand why you've found yourself no longer wanting to invest time and emotion into them anymore (or at this time.)

[elaby.livejournal.com]

I haven't watched that, but I'm not surprised - I think that's one of the biggest parings in the fandom. I'm sure I would have felt the same way by the end :\ We've made such huge steps in the past several years when it comes to gender and sexual minorities in movies and on TV, but I've come to a point where the teasing just really bothers me more than it used to.

[raechel]

Well, I can imagine it's like someone saying "here, have some of my scraps. No, you can't sit at the table or have a full plate, but while you are watching me eat I'll give you my leftovers." That, to me, is how it seems like sexual minorities are treated (though not just on TV, but that is the most visible offender outside of our laws.) It might seem generous at first, especially when you are starving and would give anything for even the scraps, but over time you come to the conclusion that you deserve to be at the table just as much as everyone else and having people act as if you should be happy with the scraps is a slap in the face. Anyway, sorry for the food analogy, metaphor, simile... (I'm sadly so far removed from the technicalities of the English language that without decent googling I couldn't tell you what that just was :( urgh.) We're sitting here at the table and Mr. Xander is wearing half of what he eats so food is pretty much the only thing on my brain, lol.

*hugs* Sorry for the rant, as if you don't live and breathe it every day and I'm telling you things you don't know, right?

[elaby.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* Yeah, but you are TOTALLY RIGHT, and I wouldn't have thought of that analogy - and it's PERFECT. So thank you :) When I read what you wrote, I was like "Yes. YES. OMG YES." <3 It DOES seem generous at first to see characters like me, but I've gotten beyond the "so grateful for scraps" time into the "we deserve equal representation" part. You're spot-on.

Say hi to Mr. Xander for me! :)

[avocado-wish.livejournal.com]

In the past I don't think American media was really aware of slash (or they ignored it), so when things got slashy on a show, it was unintentional on the part of the show's producers. That made it kind of fun to watch for and identify. But now that producers know slashy = fans = money, they deliberately put it in. Maybe it's the obvious exploitation that's bothering you. It bothers me a little, too.

I have a friend who writes gay and lesbian erotica professionally. I remember, a few years ago she was contracted by a publisher to write yaoi. Yes, they called it "yaoi," even though it was American, and had nothing to do with otaku culture. I had very mixed feelings about that, mostly because I felt they were appropriating a fan subculture of mine (which I had borrowed from Japan, of course).

[redatt.livejournal.com]

Yes, I agree. There does seem to be an element of deliberate teasing on the part of creators in more recent times. That might have been fun for a while but it soon palls.

[elaby.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and that makes me feel icky :\ To think that the creators are playing around with relationships like mine just to keep fans on the hook. Not that the same thing doesn't happen to straight relationships...

[elaby.livejournal.com]

I think you've got a really good point. And I had no idea that anybody in the professional sphere outside of Japan referred to it as "yaoi" O_o That's really strange, considering that the word has a connotation on the one hand of being inextricably connected with otaku culture and on the other of being kind of pointless titillation. Using it without really understanding what it meant. That would've bothered me too.

(edited for spelling fail)

[elaineofshalott]

Queerbaiting is such a rotten thing to do, agreed. I guess I manage to watch what few tv shows/movies I watch with the attitude of "OK, I'll watch this so I can better tell what's going on in the fic I've been reading," and then I continue to read the fic and it becomes my headcanon, of which the shows/movies themselves seem shoddy knock-offs. I'm glad I retain the ability to cherish the fic. I wish you many queer-positive media to cherish, whatever they may be. (Have you seen Torchwood? It's super-tragic, but I have SO MUCH LOVE for canonically pansexual Jack Harkness and the canonical Jack/Ianto pairing. And then there's season 1 episode 12, awugh augh, don't get me started.)

Re: (edited for spelling fail)

[elaby.livejournal.com]

continue to read the fic and it becomes my headcanon, of which the shows/movies themselves seem shoddy knock-offs

Haha, I love that idea! And yes, I have seen Torchwood, though not all of it :) And it's AMAZINGLY good. Both that and Doctor Who are really great in the diversity area. I think I know what episode you mean too <3

[coastal-spirit.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to let go of this piece of my fannish history ... I miss the time when it didn't bother me.

While I agree with everything you said here, this perhaps hit me the hardest, because I've been feeling like this a great deal lately, too. *hugs*

[elaby.livejournal.com]

Yeah, seriously! I'd rather be more educated in social justice and stuff than be oblivious about things that are wildly problematic, but it's not always fun.