F'locking dilemma

[elaby]

I've been having one of those friends-locking dilemmas that I'm told people go through. Sometimes I feel like I should lock EVERYTHING, lest someone I don't know on LJ see it and take offense or something - though I don't really think anything I say would offend anyone - and sometimes I feel like I shouldn't lock as much as I do, in case someone I don't know is interested and wants to read my journal.

So, I have a question - if you friends-lock something, does that mean only people YOU have friended can read the post, or anyone who has friended YOU can read it?

On that note, today's dilemma was one of the former variety, and I've gone back and locked various school-related posts that do not fall under the "extremely vague and most likely upbeat" category. I plan to f'lock anything that pertains to school in detail (or is just me bitching about whatever), so if you're inclined to read that, this is a reminder to log in. If you're not inclined, and I don't blame you - move along, nothing to see :)

I'm going to do work now. Really.

Comments

[kniblet.livejournal.com]

Only people that you have friended (i.e. given permission to) can see a f'locked post. Also, for people like me and Simon who occasionally post off each other's log-in (you can select "other" next to "logged in user"), it doesn't give you permission to post if you're not listed as a friend.

[elaby.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I see. Thank you!

[dave-t-lurker.livejournal.com]

Only people you've friended can read something you friends lock.

[elaby.livejournal.com]

Okay :) Thanks!

[dakegra.livejournal.com]

then of course there's friends groups, where you can set up specific groups of friends. Say you're into Sailor Moon, and you know that 95% of your friendslist isn't interested - you could set up a friends group with only the half-dozen people in who actually want to see, and post the post locked to that 'custom' group - only those in the group (chosen by you) can see your Sailor Moon posts.

Of course, those people also need to be on your friendslist, so can see other locked posts as well.

I've been toying with the idea of a Bean Filter, so people I know well can go on it, with the posts locked so only those people can read. Means I can add new friends without automatically granting them Bean Privileges!

[caitirin.livejournal.com]

I think a Bean filter is a great idea.

I have several filters that I use. The just plain people I would share my mailing address with, people I would talk about my personal life with, people that I share even more personal information with... etc. etc.

[elaby.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes! That's a good idea. I have some of those. Generally the things I'll be locking will be people I know are individual journal types, rather than communities and random things.

[merrick42.livejournal.com]

The actual question has been answered, so I won't answer that.

My point of view on things in regards to locking. Only lock when there is a specific person or group of people that you want to prevent from seeing a post.

If someone takes offense to something, then that's their tough luck; you are voicing an opinion or your feelings. They Are Yours. Ultimately, if someone does take an offense in regards to something you say and comments, then that's their opinion and you can consider or reject it as much as you want. The internet is 90% crap anyways...if they take offense at something you write and they decide to whine and bitch, then that just means they are insecure in themselves.

As Bloom County pointed out, "Life is offensive".

If you're worried about someone from a prospective job or school rejecting you because of something you write in regards to your day-to-day life, then -
a) They are violating your Freedom of Expression.
b) They are iscriminating against you, which is illegal.
and c) You are showing a lack of confidence in yourself. Have confidence and courage within yourself to be able to speak your mind.

These are my thoughts on this and why I tend not to friendslock posts. I haven't posted much in detail, but that's because I'm more likely to respond to something than to start it.

Be willing to weather the flames, after all, that's why we've made Asbestos-Lined Internet Suits.

[elaby.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your input.

c) You are showing a lack of confidence in yourself. Have confidence and courage within yourself to be able to speak your mind.

And I suppose, by the same token, if I can say whatever I want, I also have the right to want to keep things among a certain group of people.

It's less that I'm worried that people will see something and reject me for job/school purposes and more that I don't want someone to see me whining and feel bad. For example, if I bitched about my job and my supervisor saw it, I wouldn't want her to think it was HER fault that I was whining. And I know that's the reader's problem if they take offense, but that's how I feel.

I'm a worry-wart, and I'd rather not worry at all :) Knowing that it's their problem isn't going to stop me worrying, unfortunately. I wish it would!

[elaby.livejournal.com]

Thanks :) I think too much about these things and get confused O.o

[coastal-spirit.livejournal.com]

Everyone else has answered the question, so I'll just put my two cents in. I find myself locking more and more posts, simply for privacy reasons. If I'm bitching, or relaying some personal information about myself or my life, or posting something that I think others might find silly, I lock it. It just makes me more comfortable. However, I have had the same thought that you have and worry that someone who might want to friend me might go and look at my journal and say "She never posts much!", but you'd think that anyone who was familiar with LJ would realize that you might just be f'locking your fandom posts, or whatever.

[elaby.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I agree :) Your two cents are always welcome!