In which I demonstrate my fangirlishness

I read the other day on some message board that people generally think "fangirl" is to movies as "teenybopper" is to music... I object.
My definition of fangirl (or fanboy) is any girl (or boy) that obsesses
over something. It doesn't particularly matter what - I've long been a
history fangirl. It doesn't have to be fictional but generally that's
the way I think of it... the biggest part of me is a
literature/animation/movies fangirl. And right now, if no one minds,
I'm going to go fangirl on the first couple of chapters of Return of
the King.

I'd forgotten I liked it this much. It's got more
ELVES, baby. Elrohir and Elladan, Elrond's sons who no one can tell
apart, show up with a bunch of Aragorn's Ranger buddies from the North.
I had no idea they even figured into actual plot. There's also
Halbarad, one of the Rangers and Aragorn's particular friend,
apparently. But I'll come back to him later. Other than the addition of
dark-haired, grey-eyed elves to the Grey Company, we're going to get
ghosts and nifty Legolas-ness because he's the only one who isn't
totally freaked out by the aforementioned dead people. And, one of the
best little sequences I've seen so far that's made me burst out
laughing...

We all know Éowyn has the hots for Aragorn. The
first time they meet, she offers him this goblet that everyone's
drinking out of (they do this a lot; must be a custom of Rohan) and she
trembles when his hand touches hers. Aragorn, who was previously smiley
and polite, kind of goes "Ohhhh CRAP." But anyway, in this part, they
come back to Edoras and find her and the rest of the people of Rohan
who had gone to Dunharrow right behind Edoras to take refuge (unlike in
the movie, when they all went to Helm's Deep) and they have dinner with
her. They're on their way to the Paths of the Dead, which starts in the
mountains behind Dunharrow. They stop and have something to eat with
Éowyn and to tell her what's gone on in the battle, and she says they
can rest now, and tomorrow she'll find better lodging for them. Aragorn
says that as much as he appreciates it they're going to have to start
again in the morning, because their errand is so urgent. Then Éowyn
proceeds to make herself look bad -

"She smiled on him and
said: 'Then it was kindly done, lord, to ride so many miles out of your
way to bring tidings to Éowyn, and to speak with her in her exile.' "

She
was clearly not pleased to be bundled off to Dunharrow instead of going
with Uncle Théoden and That Pretty Man to the battle. Aragorn replies
(I can just see him sweatdropping) -

" 'Indeed no man would
count such a journey wasted,' said Aragorn; 'and yet, Lady, I could not
have come hither, if it were not that the road which I must take leads
me to Dunharrow." '

^^;; *keeps going*

"And she answered
as one that likes not what is said: 'Then, lord, you are astray; for
out of Harrowdale no road runs east or south; and you had best return
as you came.' "

Ouch.

As merrick42 would say, but wait,
there's more... it gets even better. After Aragorn tells her that he
knows what he's doing because he 'walked this land ere you were born to
grace it' *snerk* and that he's going to walk the Paths of the Dead.
Obviously she doesn't like that... asks if he's nuts a few times... and
tells him that he should go with her brother and uncle and get glory
that way. And Aragorn's all about glory, too... *rolls eyes* She really
knows him, all right.

Then they all run off to bed but she
catches him before he goes in, to have one of those famous Scenes in
the Hallway. She stops Aragorn and asks him why he's going. His reply:

"
'Because I must,' he said. 'Only so can I see any hope of doing my part
in the war against Sauron. I do not choose paths of peril, Éowyn. Were
I to go where my heart dwells, far in the north I would now be
wandering in the fair valley of Rivendell.' "

I.e., I have a girlfriend, please stop stalking me.

So
Éowyn still tells him that he mustn't go, but if he MUST, to take her
with him. Riiiight. Then she whines for a while about how she always
gets left behind. She tells him that (dammit Jim) she's a shieldmaiden,
not a dry-nurse *snicker* and what's she supposed to do, just stand
around making the food ready while everyone else goes off and 'wins
renown'? Then he tells her that 'a time may come when none will return.
Then there will be need of valour without renown, for none shall
remember the deeds that are done in the last defence of your homes. Yet
the deeds will not be less valiant because they are unpraised.' Then
she says that he's just telling her to stay because she's a woman. And
she's not afraid of perils, except a cage (there's the line from the
movie), which he counters with 'and yet you councelled me not to
adventure on the road that I had chosen, because it perilous?' So she
says, yeah, but I didn't say to run away from peril... the peril you
want is in my brother's direction. Because something so pretty as you
shouldn't be wasted. And he says... back atcha... and goes to bed.
Well, not before she says his friends haven't been ordered to go,
they're going with him because they won't be parted from him... and
they love him. Hint, hint, you big scruffy idiot.

So then the
next morning there's a SCENE, in which Éowyn shows up all dressed for
travel and falls on her knees crying when Aragorn won't let her come.
Hmm... no wonder she dresses up like a boy...

Anyway, I'm done
ranting about Éowyn. I'd forgotten how amusing she was... or rather how
amusing she was while anywhere near Aragorn. And now, I have a line for
all you LotR shounen-ai fans out there. If there are any reading this.
This line would spawn a thousand fanfics... and I'm sure it has. I've
heard about this Halbarad, I have. First thing Aragorn does when he
sees him is hug him, and that's far beyond any shounen-ai fan's normal
store of fodder. In response to Merry asking where Aragorn is...

"
'In a high chamber of the Burg,' said Legolas. 'He has neither rested
nor slept, I think. He went thither some hours ago, saying that he must
take thought, and only his kinsman, Halbarad, went with him...' "

That splash you just heard was my brain, plunging into the gutter.

That's all, folks. Oh, wait, go here... Bad FotR Captions. It's subtitling at its best! ROFL, one of the best things I've seen all week...