You are contributing to the world just by existing. I struggle with this too-- but sometimes it helps when other people remind me that I'm valuable. You are valuable. You make this world better just by being in it.

You're lovely and you're not alone. *hugs* Please do what makes you happy. If that's luxuriating in knowledge, go for it! I'm a child of the 80s, I very much internalized the public service announcements where the tagline was "the more you know." Even if you "just" study what other people have made, it's so valuable! You can learn and contribute to knowledge by learning. You can have insights and synthesize things and keep the love of learning alive.

More importantly, you can be happy. Lifting anyone lifts everyone. And that includes you. Anything you do for yourself also benefits everyone else. (Okay, I can think of cases where this is not exactly true, but I trust that you know what I mean.)

My world is better because you exist. And I don't like speaking for others, but I bet this is true for lots of people. *hugs* I wish for you all the wonderful things.